The Trouble With Texting
(or other forms of instant communication!)

Several months ago South Floridians and yes the nation was shocked by what happened to middle schooler Michael Brewer. If you remember, several of his peers doused his body with alcohol and subsequently set him on fire. The only thing that saved his life was jumping into a swimming pool close by. All of us are pulling for Michael and are keeping him in our thoughts and prayers.

We at Freedland Russo have also been watching the developments in this case. One of the most recent centers around, of all things, text messages. It appears that the judge has granted access to text messages that were exchanged between one of the perpetrators and his own brother around the time of this horrific event. Attorneys are hoping that it will shed some light on what may have contributed to this heinous act. It will be interesting to see how the revelation of these text messages play into the results of the upcoming trial.

These elements of this case are instructive to anyone that uses a mode of near instant or instant communication. We are in an age when we can send instantaneous e-mails to PDAs. We also have the ability to IM (instant message) and text message. However, there is a problem with instant communication. It is to, well, instant! Because as a society we want to be in constant touch with one another, much of our communication is thoughtless. And when no thought goes into what you’re saying, it can cause problems. If you don’t believe it, just ask several high profile athletes and politicians whose careers have been brought down and their public personas destroyed. Take Tiger Woods for example. Who among us has not yet heard the voice mail that he left for one of his mistresses? That voicemail along with other evidence that has been revealed has damaged his career and became the impetus for losing valuable endorsements and more importantly, destroying his family.

So how does one deal with tools such as text messages, e-mails, voicemails or other form of instant communication and keep them from hurting others or themselves? In a word, prevention. There are several steps you can take which can help keep things in check.

First, use restraint. Most e-mails, text messages and voicemails do not require an immediate response from you. Sometimes we just want to respond to get it out of the way. Taking a moment to compose your thoughts BEFORE you send the message will go a long way in helping you to keep from saying something now that could hurt you or others later.

Second, review what you have written. It is imperative that prior to hitting the send button you review what you’ve written even if you have taken your time to compose it in the first place! Pause and place yourself in the shoes of the recipient. If you don’t like how it sounds, rewrite it. Additionally many voice mails give you the opportunity to review your message and to re-record it if necessary. Taking these extra few minutes could save a lot of heartache later.

Third, think in terms of responding and not reacting. Reacting is instantaneous, responding is taking time to thoughtfully and carefully express your views. Just because someone is demanding an immediate answer now does not mean that you have to give it to them.

Unfortunately, in the Michael Brewer case, instant and thoughtless communication resulted in serious bodily injury to another. Careless words have destroyed relationships, started wars and fostered discrimination. Think before you speak (or before you write and press send!) is a good adage to live by.

Instant communication technology is here to stay but it doesn’t have to become your master. Take control before you communicate your message so that things won’t spin out of control later.